The Mac N’ Cheese Mystery

Macaroni and Cheese is one of the must-have foods at every holiday and family gathering. It is a dish that has been known to be deal-breakers and deal-clinchers in relationships and if prepared wrong by a family member, cause to never eat another dish of theirs again in life.

Yes, everyone LOVES macaroni and cheese….except for me.

*Allows 10 minutes of gasping, shock and awe*

Are you guys cool now? Cool. Yes, I do not eat mac n’ cheese and have not been able to do so for almost 25 years. Many a person has threatened to take my mythical “Black card” over this development and I can’t tell you how many people have tried to make me eat it over the years with no success.

That brings us to the probably the most frequently asked question in my life – Why don’t I eat macaroni and cheese? With Christmas right around the corner and Mac N’ Cheese on deck at most dining room tables, I figured I’d relive the day that turned me off of it for good. *Cue the wavy flashbacks*

One rainy day in kindergarten, the infamous meal of extreme popularity was on the lunch menu. I really didn’t want to eat it, but even at 5 years old, I knew that I wasn’t in much of a position to say pass, so I reluctantly chowed down on the watery gooey mess our teachers prepared for us. Later in the afternoon, something didn’t feel right in my stomach. That feeling moved up through my throat and eventually out of my mouth all over the classroom floor.

My mother and my older sister came to get me within minutes, but considering we only lived a block away from where I went to school, I was confused as to why we were getting in the car.

Then the doctor’s office came into view. I had the luxury of going to two pediatricians as Patricia Purcell (still my favorite doctor to this day) and Andrew Henderson shared the same office building. I would be seeing Dr. Henderson on this day. Dr. Henderson, who had to be in his mid-20’s back then, was a tall, dark and cool cat with a jheri curl (this was 1986 after all) and after telling my mom a flu shot was in order, tried as best as he could to calm me down. No dice. I was already scared of needles and I blamed the wretched macaroni and cheese for getting me into this inescapable predicament.

I was down and before I knew it – pinch. On the left cheek…of my bee-hind. In my crying hysterical aftermath at the time, I told my grandma that Dr. Henderson stabbed me with the needle, but as I matured, it was a simple pinch. Yet and still, I was finished with Mac N’ Cheese. No one could convince me to eat it after that and I haven’t since. My mom maintains I had the flu, I say it was the macaroni and cheese, still a subject of debate at family gatherings to this day.

Is it a mental block? More than likely. Is it lame? Maybe so. Have I eaten mac n’ cheese since? Absolutely not and I don’t plan to in the future.

And there you have it. The reason Chris does not eat macaroni and cheese. So if I’m ever at your house and I don’t eat yours or anyone else’s, please don’t be offended. A well-placed needle and my worrisome nature prevent me from eating what people consider to be a can’t miss meal. However, I’m doing just fine missing it.

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3 thoughts on “The Mac N’ Cheese Mystery

  1. And, with that, you’ve been deprived of one of the true joys in this world. If macaroni & cheese is to blame, I put it directly at the feet of that wretched stuff in the blue box!

    My condolences to you.

  2. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me with Lucky Charms.Had it for breakfast at school and by mid day I was spewing chunks in the hallway while walking in line to the bathroom. I was scarred for life…

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