Another day, another bash black women scenario.
According to Psychology Today (the article has been pulled so we can’t read it), black women are unattractive. That’s all I got because I never got to read the story before the subsequent outrage forced Psychology Today to pull it and issue a formal (read: prepared by the PR spin doctors) apology.
It’s just another piece in the long line of recent and continuing assaults on the character, personality and bodies of African-American women. I’m not even writing this to “cash up,” to quote Pac’s “Keep your head up” opening verse, but damn – when is enough enough?
It’s frustrating to see black women beaten down and abused in plain view for the entire world to see and 1) They’re helpless to do anything about it and 2)black men aren’t doing too much to defend their honor. We as men (and we’re not totally absolved from the bashing black women receive) just generally say “eh, they ain’t talkin about me” or even worse “yeah, that’s right – black women are xyz, that’s why I date women outside my race.”
I had a conversation with a ladyfriend earlier today which helped me understand why black women (at least the ones I follow on the Almighty Twitter machine) were so mad about this recent article. And again, I really don’t like going by Twitter to prove or disprove theories and analyze humans, so I really won’t. And I’m a journalist, not a psychologist, but work with me.
Women were upset because the men weren’t upset. Sounds familiar if you’ve ever been in a relationship, but this time it’s understandable. Some of us claim to love black women, but when it’s time to stick up for them, we are noticeably absent (person typing these words included). It has to hurt to continually be called ugly, rude, dumb, disrespectful, basically not good enough to be in society. And what do men do? Shrug it off or try to pacify their hurt with some ill-timed offers of physical gratification.
Now I’m not shading or firing shots at anyone – who doesn’t love relations? – but most of the time when shit like this goes down, black women want to be consoled, they want to be defended, they want to not feel like no one loves them.
And while we can’t all play loving, doting, caring confidant to every black woman, the least we can do is understand their plight and adjust accordingly. Hate to bring it up, but you rarely if ever see studies about white women being unattractive or too sassy for their men to handle. We’re already at risk at losing each other because of the divide and conquer tactics of society and beauty/fashion/relationship experts as a whole. Black folks wouldn’t be doing themselves any favors by helping to drive the wedge even further with more disrespect, more bad vibes towards each other and more of the same hatred and neglect that has gone on for quite some time.
Hate to close this on such a cheesy and seemingly kiss-ass note, but whatever, it still needs to be said. Fair-skinned or dark, fun-sized or statuesque, plus-sized or skinny mini, white-collar or blue-collar, natural hair or permed weave, black women – I. FREAKING. ADORE. YOU. You’re misunderstood, you drive us crazy sometimes, but I’ll be damned if there’s a better sight than you in all your glory and confidence, doing what you do on a daily basis. Keep it up. Now Runteldat, Psychology Today.