I rarely get all Rev. Run/Tyrese/Steve Harvey/ambulance chasing philosopher of the moment with it, but after a brief exchange on Twitter with a friend yesterday, it forced me to think and as of this morning, I’m still thinking about what was said as far as chasing your dreams and living life on your own terms.
I responded to her tweet about such saying that it’s a scary thought for many, especially considering the craptacular state the economy is in right now. Her response was “That’s the reason so many people are chasing dream XYZ – they may as well struggle anyway.” That’s verbatim, because I’m too lazy at this point on a Monday to search her timeline, but I agree.
As one of the 99% (I’m one of the cool kids, yay!), it sucks to bust your ass doing something you think you love, but as time wears on, you realize it’s not exactly what you dreamed it to be or at least the paychecks aren’t. I knew going in I was never going to be rich in journalism, and I was fine with it, but the struggle is starting to wear thin with me.
I guess one loses cool points for being 30 and admitting that they may take a step back to try and a couple forward at some point, but at this point in my life, what the hell do I really have to gain by being totally unhappy? I mean personally (and I’ll never go into full detail in this blog on that subject) I’m already a wreck, adding professional distress is only a recipe for disaster. Might as well do what I want and try to cull a living from it.
That’s where my struggle begins – I’m too concerned with what people think. Have been since I was old enough to understand comparing and competing.
Then as I walked back to my car after an assignment one afternoon, something came into my head that was totally random.
“Your journey is your journey. The next person’s journey is their journey. You can’t live someone else’s life.”
It was almost like that hyperbolic bolt of the lightning, the proverbial epiphany that everyone looks for but really hits them when they least expect it. That was my moment and it was so damn random it scared me for a minute, but maybe it was something I needed to hear as I figure out what the hell I want to do with my life from 30 on. I need to plan, I need to be realistic, I can’t be afraid to take a risk here and there. But more importantly, I can’t compare what I’m doing to what someone else is doing or I’ll stay stuck in this rut that I’m tired of being in.
I guess this is step one of the journey, small as it may be.