A lighter load for a new year

A lot has changed in a year.

When I wrote on my 30th birthday last year, I was unsure of a lot of things as I entered a new decade in life, from my place in social circles to whether I even wanted to remain a journalist full-time.  One thing was for sure – I was determined to do something about my physical being, something that would help me feel somewhat better about myself moving forward.

I stepped on the scale this morning to find that my weight was 308 pounds – 9 pounds short of the original goal I set for my 31st birthday, but on the bright side, it’s 39 pounds less than what I was on February 29th, when I thought I was going to end up failing this new life changes thing miserably. Instead, I stuck with it. I made time to walk, I weaned myself off of fast food, found healthier, lower-calorie snacks to bide my time and convinced myself that this was worth it.

And so far, it has been.

Professionally, I find myself at a rough point. As anyone who knows me knows, I left journalism full-time in late June to start a social media/copywriting/editing business. I’ve had exactly one client in the three months I’ve been officially open for business, but apparently, this kind of thing takes time. My mother sensed the despair and frustration in my voice with that (and other things) Saturday night and hit me with a dose of reality – it takes six months for a business to fully start. That followed Ed Gandia, head of the International Freelancers’ Day web conference saying the same thing Friday.

So while I’m struggling now (and it took a lot for me to admit this, believe me), it won’t always be this way if I keep grinding and believing that this will work. So I just need to find some other ways to get some money coming in while working on this business and my book.

Socially…yea. Not much has changed. Even though I’m making serious inroads on my weight, the thing I feel keeps me from the things I want socially and companionship-wise, I still have a hard time going out without that feeling of me being Sherman Klump to some aspiring Reggie Warrington.  I guess I’ll keep working on it. Being a loner tends to be overrated and, well, lonesome.

One thing I can say I’ve learned in this year, a lesson I seem to keep learning and not learning from, is that I’m probably harder on myself than necessary.  It’s one thing to seek improvement and be humble, but sometimes I treat myself worse than people who I expect to do that. And I suppose that’s not good.

So as I move into another year, I need to be thankful for the physical weight I’ve lost, the physical weight I hope to lose in the future and work on shedding the unnecessary stuff I’ve carried around for years.

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