This post in particular is for the heartbroken, the loveless, the discouraged, the alone, the lonely, the hurting, the bitter, the frustrated, the discouraged.
The message is simple: February 14th is just another day on the calendar.
The person writing this post has been there. I got crushed on Valentine’s Day my senior year of high school and after that, I had nothing but contempt for that day and everyone who celebrated it. In case you’re wondering, I graduated high school in 1999, so that’s a decade plus of hating one day because of something that happened as a teenager. Quite avoidable, too.
But I understand how people can be frustrated by Valentine’s Day. It seems that the love is turned up on 10 with people who are in relationships/married/having consistent sex with somebody. If you don’t have that in your life and want it, which most of us do, it can be frustrating and depressing. You feel like people are throwing their good fortune in your face on a day where you’re probably not feeling your best to begin with because of the lack of sunlight associated with this time of year in most climates.
It’s tough. You feel like you may deserve it more than the next person or your exes are doing just a little too well after you and it sucks. But here’s the thing – it’s an outside-looking in situation. Sure people who have valentines and Valentine’s Day plans look like they’re having fun, but you don’t know for sure – or you shouldn’t, anyway. Two other folks’ relationship is theirs, not yours or anyone else’s. It takes 365 days of work for a relationship to even get to that Feb. 14th stage, so why stress over someone else’s stress?
The resentment and bitterness and hurt, it happens. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel anything. But the key is to channel that. I’m learning this myself. You have to find things that make you happy and distract you as best they can from whatever is bothering you. For me, the solace of exercising and losing about 90 pounds in the last 11 1/2 months has done wonders. Also, trying to start and running a small media business doesn’t leave TOO much time for personal angst. I need to worry about finding a sponsor for this bracket challenge I’m planning and other stuff.
And if the above doesn’t help, look at it this way – you save a lot of a money by not having to go all out. Flowers, candy, special gifts, dates – all that shit’s expensive. Not saying it isn’t worth the effort when you’re involved, but when you’re not, why fret over it? Take that money and treat yourself to something. Dinner, a book, a movie, whatever. Or save it for something greater.
Lastly, it won’t be this way forever. People that read this will probably laugh considering where it’s coming from, the guy who has taken the #ForeverAlone hashtag on Twitter to heart, but it’s true. The law of averages eventually evens it all out. While it sucks to be alone and with no resolution in sight, things can change when you least expect it.
So let everyone have their fun for Valentine’s Day and find some fun of your own to get into. Then February 14th won’t be so much of a pain.