The last April Fools’ Day

April Fools’ Day has long been a day for practical jokers to get laughs at the expense of unsuspecting victims, including this guy, who was good for an April Fools’joke every once in a while. However, 9 years ago today, I played my last April Fools’ prank after I got the scare of a lifetime which turned out to be sweet revenge for the other party.

At this time, I was in college, working as the sports editor for the campus paper, and I was trying to think of ways to get my mom. You see, I knew my mom knew to take me at my word because she put the fear of God in us growing up about lying. It was unacceptable and it had serious consequences. So to keep our behinds from going raw, we told the truth. Period. But I was 22, so I figured a little joke between adults couldn’t hurt. Just then, I figured it out. I’d block my office number and call my mom pretending I was in jail because I had gotten in a fight on campus. Perfect!

Mom: Good afternoon [place of employment], [Mom] speaking.
Me: Mom, I’m in trouble. I’m down Smyrna.
Mom: WHAT?!
Me: I got into a fight on campus, they called police and this is my phone call.
Mom: Dammit…okay, did they say how much bail is?
Me: Hold on I need to ask…they said…April Fools! *uproarious-type laughter*
Mom: You know what, that’s a sick joke, don’t call me again today. *BANG!*

So I went to class after that and came back in to finish up a story I was working on and while waiting for the softball coach to walk in, I figured I’d call mom and apologize. No one picked up the office phone. Unusual, she usually takes lunch at her desk. No problem, just call her cell. But instead of my mom, I get my younger sister. She sounds hysterical. Now I’m worried.

Me: What’s going on?
Sis: This is your fault!
Me: What?
Sis: That stupid fucking joke! Mom got mad, left work and crashed her car!
Me: …
Me: *sniffling* I…I didn’t think she’d be that mad…is she okay?
Me: *Tears and trying to find a bus schedule* okay, I’m on my way home, I’m trying to get there now.
Sis: I don’t have but one more thing to say to you…*Mom jumps on the line with her* April Fools’!!! *click*

Now mind you, some of my co-workers and a few friends of the paper were in the office at this time and they fell out in the floor laughing. I’m sitting there holding the receiver, trying to wipe these tears and then I just chuckled, embarrassed. And I didn’t hear the end of that from my co-workers for the rest of the spring semester.

Moral of the story: Ain’t no fool like an April Fool. And on 04/01/2004, your boy was the biggest fool of them all. Never again.


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