As dating and relationships become more and more of a topic of interest in today’s world, people of all gender identities and attractions/preferences are trying to navigate through the rat race of getting to know/being involved with someone while discovering themselves at the same time.
This is obviously nothing new as people having been dating and in relationships since the beginning of time, but never more in the history of dating as a public topic have their been so many so-called “relationship experts” ready to share an opinion an advice that some may not have asked for.
Some time in the last 2 or 3 years, the relationship expert genre (or hustle) has exploded nationally, especially targeting Black women, who seem to be the subject of a poking and prodding study once a week. It’s strange that Black women are always the topic of discussion when it comes to dating and relationships, even more alarming that they’re always being painted in a negative light.
This isn’t to say there aren’t some relationship/life coaches that aren’t doing good work because there are, but there are some who target black women almost out of spite and certainly not out of help.
There is one expert in particular who once tweeted “Women carry condoms, ladies don’t!”
Really, now? Trying to separate women via term aside, how close-minded is that to suggest that a woman is any less of a woman because she kinda wants to have sex, but definitely wants to keep her vagina healthy and her womb kid-free for the time being? And instead of backing off that statement, this expert continued to dig himself a hole by suggesting that men thought less of women who carried protection. Unfortunately, some men feel that way, but not all of us.
I’m not sure how relationship coaching and relationship expert became the new hustle, but it really needs to scale back. All of these folks claiming to be all-knowing about love, dating, sex and relationships usually are going to end up messing up SOMEONE’S happy home. There’s nothing wrong with staying in your lane. Trust me, I stick to sports, cars, music and occasional commentary on issues such as this.
Either way, we have to ask ourselves why are folks pushing all of their romantic chips to the middle of the table, banking on relationship experts, surveys and studies to help them find love? To me, people have to understand that there’s no right or wrong answer to someone’s feelings/attraction/preferences/etc. People like who they like and want who they want, and that can be fluid or not.
Whatever the case, someone with a twitter profile and a catchy hashtag (the always-patronizing “Pleasantries” comes to mind) and some deep quotes is not someone to follow. The best way to find what is for you in my opinion is just to live life. Experience is the best teacher sometimes, not a so-called expert with a book to push.